I woke up covered in sweat. Pushing bodies off of me, I walked out, knowing Tori would unbind Takara on the platform. All I knew was, I needed water. Lots of it. I just simply walked out to the stream coated in sweat. That was in. Naked, I felt the prickle of cool morning air that was a feeling of thankfulness for the Sky's kindness. What had I dreamed about? Truths. Did Truths matter? Did flesh matter? Why was I dreaming of my blood, then of my heart. To say I didn't have an identity crisis happening sometimes, was a huge lie. I wanted to be fully Tuchuk so bad, my skin bore the scars of trying to peel away what haunts me the most. Would Fathers refuse to let their lines be tainted by pure Paravaci blood? Why was this bothering me today? Because I dreamt of children. Sons and Daughters with heavy bands of gold and gems. Running around happy, happy in lands with Bosk branded in the mark of bola. What did this mean? Was it an old memory or a haunting of a very hidden wonder of my past? I didn't want either one. I didn't want it.
When did these nightmares start? I knew the day. The day I knew/learned what I was capable of. The first man I would ever kill, a mirror image. I had stolen his bosk. When I took it, it was clear they were stolen also. From the marks, they were Kataii bosk. It was a meeting I felt was humor of the Sky. He had been sleeping under a brush with the bosk tethered to its base by their rings. It was a battle for he was smarter then I. He had been pretending to sleep under the helmet he was still wearing. We fought with quiva, much blood between us. It was like a perfect match. We were the same height, build and it seemed strength. I removed my helm finally, tossing it to the side, for the loosened mesh was hitting me in the eyes. I went for another strike and letting the blade run across his throat with a single slice. Once I had done so, I couldn't get, why...it happened. Why had he stopped? Why hadn't I noticed he stopped? I just attacked, and he never lifted an arm. I was dumbfounded. I felt, cheated. Collecting my wits, did I finally remove his helmet. To see this person who just gave way to me. Only then did I understand. The death in his light brown eyes, just stared at me. This mirror. This Reflection. This Paravaci, who must have been out also, to earn his first scar, just like I. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see, his eyes were shaped like mine, his face like I was looking against the surface of a clear quiet stream. No. I didn't. I had to remove it, so no one would know. No one. The rage consumed me. I carefully removed every feature, until the face was nothing but a mask of pink and white tissue, and the eyes were removed, fed to my kaiila. No one would ever see. No one. No one. I sat there, next to the body, wondering what I had done, and why.
The same thing still that bothers me.
Truth and Me.
What a way to start my morning. I didn't notice the cuts at my palm. My own fingers. I finished washing up, they were shallow. I was always careful with my hands. Its only when, I was not one with flesh in my minds wanderings do I find odd cuts and bruises. I wondered if I sleep walk, or what its it I do, the girls don't tell me about. I have no idea. Right now, I didn't care, I had to wash this feeling off, and start my day. The dream, thought, member of blood caused the stir of darkness. Its weight on my subconscious of need, as I walked back to my wagon, showered with by whistling and teasing slaves. It made me smile. Sluts, got to love them. Getting back to my wagon, I dressed and started out to my rounds, as Tori was gone, Tasha working with Takara, and I told Hannah I would be over this morning. She had something she said was a concern, but nothing that couldn't wait till morning. On the way there, I stopped to check on the woman who had the arrow piercing. Before I walked up the steps I would speak with the birthing Woman, who was checking on her also. I wish there was a better way, but the child that no longer kicked, had to be born. Had to be freed, to be given back to the Sky. I told her give it another few days, then she will be strong enough for the roots to induce. I would be around if needed, but usually the women knew how to take care of this. Honestly nothing I really wanted deal with. I kept a smile as I went in and spoke with her. She was doing great, better then I expected. I changed the dressings, before heading out towards Hannah's wagons. She was still pale. Maybe she just needed to spend more time outside. Baby Bull, was huge. Just rolling thick at what? Eight hands? I was impressed. She brought me a bowl of black wine, strong, black. I sat with the baby looking him over as she rested across from me. She just kind of blurted it out. Nothing like preparing me. She thought she was pregnant again already. I just stared at her as I drank, and the baby reached for the buttons of my vest. I finished the bowl, letting Bull have it, since it was cool, with no hot drops left. He would take it to his mouth, watching his face form the obvious dislike for the strong flavoring still left on the rim.
I suppose I should be saying Congratulations? I wasn't prepared for her to start crying. I handed the baby and the bowl back to her, sitting closer. Explaining, no tears until my second bowl. It was going to be okay. It was nothing new. Women have been doing this for as long as there was bosk. She just had to be careful, the body hasn't completely gone back to normal yet. If she was going to be popping out a herd of bulls, she would need some extra rest, liquids, fatty foods, to get some weight gain up, and, sit on the steps in the light for at least a turn of shadows twice a day. She needed some color. I told her, I had no doubt she would be a great mother, two fold. Just relax. It seemed to make her feel better. I finished my second bowl, telling her I would have Tori make her this sweet bread that was packed with good things. I didn't want to tell her, Tori took them to a woman once, that was needing some weight, and I swear, I never saw a woman's ass get so round in my life. It was great. Her mate gave me four more Verr, he was so pleased with the results.
I left to do my rounds and I had to work on changing out my two back wheels of my supply wagon. Which meant, emptying it out before I changed them. It would be a long afternoon, but one I was honestly looking forward to. Jaron had been doing better once his mates hormones were starting to even out. He came by to help me, venting out how lucky I was to still be single. I could only chuckle when I was just thinking, what a lucky man he was.
I was exhausted by the time evening was starting to come. I had patrol tonight, so wanted to spend some time at the fires. I needed to get a collection of Vulo happening. Had wagers to pay off still. Arriving to the fires, I got comfortable, and was amazed I feel asleep so quickly. I was awakened by a hand going for my crotch. A very pretty hand I tend to be fond of. Chuckling I released Tarra's hand, and had Takara bring me food as we talked. I was tired, and that weight was getting heavier inside of me. It was making me feel cranky like a teething child. I wanted whatever to happen and I was just not doing good with the waiting game. Her, Tarra's, Father arrived. He told me to select a weapon of choice for a spar. We fought, fought well, but it seemed the Elder Warrior topped me. I didn't go down without a fight though. We spoke for a bit after that, before we all looked to were he tossed his lance. Before the feet of the young Leather Worker. It caught my attention and the attention of most of us there. The arrival starting building up as the Elder Warrior got into a heated talk with the Young Leather Worker. I meant no disrespect but it seemed like a petty take to be having with a woman. He should have told one of the men of her wagon to deal with this issue over talking about someone. Who really cared? Women talk to damn much sometimes in general. By then we had a nice big gathering, I tried to change the subject with a lighter talk of my own needs. I needed Vulo. Me and the young Leather worker talked of a trade as Kam went on to speak about this issue again with the Ubar. I have to say, I couldn't help but chuckle when I heard the offended person was...a kaiila. Its one thing to love your kaiila, but don't Love your Kaiila. I thought this person was a son or Brother. It was a Beast. Sorry Cure, but I don't give an Urt's ass who speaks of you. The talk turned more intense when it switched to something of more importance. I didn't know Tarra's Father well enough to form a solid opinion, but what I heard was to a good base for me to build one on. It wouldn't be getting off the ground. I am very sensitive about those that just destroy life. For one who will toss a lance before a woman as if in a challenge over the honor of a kaiila, but would quickly take a quiva to an Ubara. I wasn't getting any of it. The rest of the night lead me into a quiet state, as ranks were stripped, slaves changed hands, Tarra left in an emotional mess, as did Cana. I could understand both.
I would check on Cana tomorrow, Tarra, I think its time I paid up on wagers. Perhaps it will left her spirits. I could only imagine the dishonor and confusion she might be feeling.
When did these nightmares start? I knew the day. The day I knew/learned what I was capable of. The first man I would ever kill, a mirror image. I had stolen his bosk. When I took it, it was clear they were stolen also. From the marks, they were Kataii bosk. It was a meeting I felt was humor of the Sky. He had been sleeping under a brush with the bosk tethered to its base by their rings. It was a battle for he was smarter then I. He had been pretending to sleep under the helmet he was still wearing. We fought with quiva, much blood between us. It was like a perfect match. We were the same height, build and it seemed strength. I removed my helm finally, tossing it to the side, for the loosened mesh was hitting me in the eyes. I went for another strike and letting the blade run across his throat with a single slice. Once I had done so, I couldn't get, why...it happened. Why had he stopped? Why hadn't I noticed he stopped? I just attacked, and he never lifted an arm. I was dumbfounded. I felt, cheated. Collecting my wits, did I finally remove his helmet. To see this person who just gave way to me. Only then did I understand. The death in his light brown eyes, just stared at me. This mirror. This Reflection. This Paravaci, who must have been out also, to earn his first scar, just like I. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see, his eyes were shaped like mine, his face like I was looking against the surface of a clear quiet stream. No. I didn't. I had to remove it, so no one would know. No one. The rage consumed me. I carefully removed every feature, until the face was nothing but a mask of pink and white tissue, and the eyes were removed, fed to my kaiila. No one would ever see. No one. No one. I sat there, next to the body, wondering what I had done, and why.
The same thing still that bothers me.
Truth and Me.
What a way to start my morning. I didn't notice the cuts at my palm. My own fingers. I finished washing up, they were shallow. I was always careful with my hands. Its only when, I was not one with flesh in my minds wanderings do I find odd cuts and bruises. I wondered if I sleep walk, or what its it I do, the girls don't tell me about. I have no idea. Right now, I didn't care, I had to wash this feeling off, and start my day. The dream, thought, member of blood caused the stir of darkness. Its weight on my subconscious of need, as I walked back to my wagon, showered with by whistling and teasing slaves. It made me smile. Sluts, got to love them. Getting back to my wagon, I dressed and started out to my rounds, as Tori was gone, Tasha working with Takara, and I told Hannah I would be over this morning. She had something she said was a concern, but nothing that couldn't wait till morning. On the way there, I stopped to check on the woman who had the arrow piercing. Before I walked up the steps I would speak with the birthing Woman, who was checking on her also. I wish there was a better way, but the child that no longer kicked, had to be born. Had to be freed, to be given back to the Sky. I told her give it another few days, then she will be strong enough for the roots to induce. I would be around if needed, but usually the women knew how to take care of this. Honestly nothing I really wanted deal with. I kept a smile as I went in and spoke with her. She was doing great, better then I expected. I changed the dressings, before heading out towards Hannah's wagons. She was still pale. Maybe she just needed to spend more time outside. Baby Bull, was huge. Just rolling thick at what? Eight hands? I was impressed. She brought me a bowl of black wine, strong, black. I sat with the baby looking him over as she rested across from me. She just kind of blurted it out. Nothing like preparing me. She thought she was pregnant again already. I just stared at her as I drank, and the baby reached for the buttons of my vest. I finished the bowl, letting Bull have it, since it was cool, with no hot drops left. He would take it to his mouth, watching his face form the obvious dislike for the strong flavoring still left on the rim.
I suppose I should be saying Congratulations? I wasn't prepared for her to start crying. I handed the baby and the bowl back to her, sitting closer. Explaining, no tears until my second bowl. It was going to be okay. It was nothing new. Women have been doing this for as long as there was bosk. She just had to be careful, the body hasn't completely gone back to normal yet. If she was going to be popping out a herd of bulls, she would need some extra rest, liquids, fatty foods, to get some weight gain up, and, sit on the steps in the light for at least a turn of shadows twice a day. She needed some color. I told her, I had no doubt she would be a great mother, two fold. Just relax. It seemed to make her feel better. I finished my second bowl, telling her I would have Tori make her this sweet bread that was packed with good things. I didn't want to tell her, Tori took them to a woman once, that was needing some weight, and I swear, I never saw a woman's ass get so round in my life. It was great. Her mate gave me four more Verr, he was so pleased with the results.
I left to do my rounds and I had to work on changing out my two back wheels of my supply wagon. Which meant, emptying it out before I changed them. It would be a long afternoon, but one I was honestly looking forward to. Jaron had been doing better once his mates hormones were starting to even out. He came by to help me, venting out how lucky I was to still be single. I could only chuckle when I was just thinking, what a lucky man he was.
I was exhausted by the time evening was starting to come. I had patrol tonight, so wanted to spend some time at the fires. I needed to get a collection of Vulo happening. Had wagers to pay off still. Arriving to the fires, I got comfortable, and was amazed I feel asleep so quickly. I was awakened by a hand going for my crotch. A very pretty hand I tend to be fond of. Chuckling I released Tarra's hand, and had Takara bring me food as we talked. I was tired, and that weight was getting heavier inside of me. It was making me feel cranky like a teething child. I wanted whatever to happen and I was just not doing good with the waiting game. Her, Tarra's, Father arrived. He told me to select a weapon of choice for a spar. We fought, fought well, but it seemed the Elder Warrior topped me. I didn't go down without a fight though. We spoke for a bit after that, before we all looked to were he tossed his lance. Before the feet of the young Leather Worker. It caught my attention and the attention of most of us there. The arrival starting building up as the Elder Warrior got into a heated talk with the Young Leather Worker. I meant no disrespect but it seemed like a petty take to be having with a woman. He should have told one of the men of her wagon to deal with this issue over talking about someone. Who really cared? Women talk to damn much sometimes in general. By then we had a nice big gathering, I tried to change the subject with a lighter talk of my own needs. I needed Vulo. Me and the young Leather worker talked of a trade as Kam went on to speak about this issue again with the Ubar. I have to say, I couldn't help but chuckle when I heard the offended person was...a kaiila. Its one thing to love your kaiila, but don't Love your Kaiila. I thought this person was a son or Brother. It was a Beast. Sorry Cure, but I don't give an Urt's ass who speaks of you. The talk turned more intense when it switched to something of more importance. I didn't know Tarra's Father well enough to form a solid opinion, but what I heard was to a good base for me to build one on. It wouldn't be getting off the ground. I am very sensitive about those that just destroy life. For one who will toss a lance before a woman as if in a challenge over the honor of a kaiila, but would quickly take a quiva to an Ubara. I wasn't getting any of it. The rest of the night lead me into a quiet state, as ranks were stripped, slaves changed hands, Tarra left in an emotional mess, as did Cana. I could understand both.
I would check on Cana tomorrow, Tarra, I think its time I paid up on wagers. Perhaps it will left her spirits. I could only imagine the dishonor and confusion she might be feeling.
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