)(

The suffocating smoke hit us before the fire did. But it wasn't enough of a Warning. We are strong people, we know what to do when we need to do it. When the fires were seen in the distance, bosk were tethered and all animals released for instinct would get them where they needed to go. What could be stuffed in wagons moving was. The power was something I can't remember in my entire life, ever experiencing. The Ubar had the men going as if this was just a string on a Czehar played by a musicians skilled touch. It made me proud to be a Warrior of Tuchuks. The pride wouldn't be savored until later, for now, it was about Tribe.

The first string was played, like the tone that would set the suspense for the song to come. Getting what wagons we could moved, what people we could save, our futures passed to the hands of our past our History, as Elders and Children would be rushed out first in wagon fulls. Water was poured over wheels to keep the wood from getting to dry and hot from the heat that was blistering the closer it got. The sky was turning into a phantom of fears. It seemed to feed of the screams, the anguish, the tears, and the fury.

The second string was one of deep base, cool control, like ice unable to melt in the center of the fire. Men were out digging trenches, taking barrels of water to be released, the ground to wet to try to save what wagons wouldn't be able to be hitched as it was ripping across the plains so fast, bosk lead by the band had to be released for no one would be able to get close to the core wagons. Thralls were unchained and none ran, no, they worked beside men to get the trench wide enough to try to head the fire off from those long lines of wagons rolling across lands still calm.

The third was sharp, enough to make the finger tip sting at its slender strand. Darkness of ash told no one to look back. Voices searching for loved ones, and cries of babies were lost in the crack of wood and bellow of the breeze telling the flames, the test wasn't over yet. One could only lift the flesh that was melting against fingers and place them on the back of the closest wagon. No one that could be saved, dead or alive would be left behind.

The fourth was a sympathy of song coming together. Healers were traveling the wagons of those cramped in them, the hollow wagons lacking people were going towards the front level out the ground for those heavier wagons piled with people to cross smoothly. The smell of smoke was now nothing common breath now. Handing off wet rep cloths to cover the mouths of all until they were far enough away to try to swallow fresh air.

The dancers were the animals of the plains, the birds and the people all in colors of life moving to the music of survival. I could only let my heart sing with its song as my hands and mind were busy working flesh under my own touch, during the challenge of the Sky, her gifts were making us all give praise and rejoice even now. Especially me. I thanked her for every person that breathed still, for every cry of a child that was clearing the smoke from its lungs. For the tears that showed life, and blood that flowed to show its power.

Sweat, blisters, blood and masked my tears. I filled my senses with burned flesh, hair, and trembled screams when I touched. All that was bringing me pain was their own. Their fear not of losing a limb, or the pain that was tearing deep into their bodies. It was of others, and I think I was weeping for them when right now, they couldn't. I was weeping for the stains of breast from new mothers that lacked a babe in arms. Women with soot covered faces hold cloth animals and dolls from children in wagons far ahead, and wishes of mates, Fathers, brothers and Lovers out fighting the flames and leading herds to safety.

I wept. I worked. The faces I saw, the fury of wanting to go grab a shovel and be standing beside my brothers was always a conflict. I knew I was where I should be. My blood was surging with so much inner battle when I found the wagons as my Kaiila feel into the smoke. Seeing Tarra ride up was hope, I would take her beast so I could go help the men. She handed me a woman wrapped in a scarf over her face, what she said, I couldn't hear, but she rode off before I could stop her. I carried in the woman, laying her in the center of the wagon, the young girl who was helping me with those in my personal wagon, came over to take the scarf away from her face. Not sure why it shocked me so much. The Ubar's woman was not conscious. We rolled her to her side, to force lungs to work harder to get the bad air out. The touch of her hot skin was calming. It was strange, even startling. Hot.

)(

The days were hot. With heat came dust, dust from the ground cracking from the earth that thirsted badly in need of quenching. The stream had lowered, the verr were thinning, and the bosk were digging for the roots of grass that had become sparse. The girls were filling barrels with water that was boiled and filtered as some of the small pools of water had turned bad when they lowered to far and death found their streams. We were pushing the bosk further out to open ground streams of the plains still with rich soil, which was dangerous further from the wagons. Those would be moved soon, but the bosk couldn't wait. There was protection from the elements near the wagons, the wild creatures didn't come close and other tribes were weary. Now they would be open grounds for any that wished to test the will of Warriors and sleens. We started to boil meats as dung was getting light with the lack of food and most of the herd away from the wagons. The heat was stuffy. With the call to get ready to move the wagons the elders were working to hard. There was nothing one could do to make them sit. Heat exhaustion was becoming common place when the warm waters couldn't even cool down the over taxed bodies of people. Even slaves that were very new were dying under the heat not knowing or having enough sense to do work in the shade of under the wagons, or rubbing some mud to flesh when working outside to keep the burn from going under the skin. Dwellers.

Between dragging old Warriors back in their wagons kicking with one good leg as they stopped from falling out from the heat, and their women saying leave him out so he will learn when the kids are jumping on his back while he lays on the ground and to get kids to stop saying if you suck on a raw vulo egg its better then water..stopping the loss of many future chicks and the grounds coated in throw up, I was working on my own wagons.

I felt my tunic clinging to my body, covered in sweat and grim working on my axles. Getting them working with a eased slip of brace on wheels was enough to make me feel proud for the moment. I walked towards central fires, needing some people time. Upright people, no kicking or cussing, or struggling to stay out until they turned into a mass of Tuchuk Jerky to make themselves feel useful kind people. What I found was a very faint looking Silken and Ash. It was a short talk of could she be's until a finally spoken she is, and life could finally go on. I think it was easier dragging the one good leg man back in the wagon then getting a bit of anything out of Silken. Odd woman. I have no doubt that child will be a strong one. Sky's help us all.

The talks where of heat and getting the elders and children moving before the rest of us cause the heat was becoming..too much. I was going to ask the Ubar if I could get them started as a healers view, but it seems the Sky was a step ahead as usual.

She gives no mercy in her lessons.

)(

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting......Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams master the lessons we have learned as we have moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up.... [At this point] Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."- Paulo Coelho

Who are you?
This person who whispers in my ear that I can only enjoy in the darkness of my dream.
The one who is lost in my battle to make me you leave alone, but I keep you here in my desires.
Craving every single breath I envision a caress along my cheek and smile brushing my jaw.
The one who's touch lingers upon my chest when the seeded pain twist so deeply.
I just want to feel your hair against my finger tips, not a trail I keep following like a braided path.

Tell me why....
Your laughing when I open my eyes and nothing is there but the world I have formed.
Each day that rolls by again and again is just a hint of eternity you are spending haunting me.
I thought I had my dream and when she was gone, the other lingered to smile when I frown.
You hold on to a piece of my heart that never heals from its crack of love taken.
I can't just open my arms and you will finally fall in to spare me the agony.

Find me..
Watching the plains of my horizon that is just waiting to feel the step of your feet.
My hand is out waiting for fingers that curl as we walked the shores watery stream.
Whispering my vows of forever, I will protect every core of what is truly us.
Being strong enough to bend on a knee and offer you my life, for you part of it.
Smiling for I know only now, in your arms, and our paths now one, I am complete.

)(

Verr. Verr were all over the place. I was walking my herd to see which I would consider trading, cutting out for meat and hide, and those who were needing a last close shearing before the move North. I wondered if the young Weaver had come to take a few sacks of wool yet. I would send more over if not. The massive size of my herd is what I would consider rather ridiculous for a healer. For I had no speciality for Verr. Though it was good trading of milk, wool and meat that brought in leather, salt and fresh rep cloths that I go through in mass amounts. Salves where a stable also, I would give young verrs with light wool to a herbalist every season. Weavers made natural threads for stitches for me, metal needles were hard to come buy even with trading merchants, but bone needles were just fine for surface wounds, but they broke easily and if not boiled clean quickly, they absorb the blood and go bad. There was a moody young all black male kid that was causing some trouble in my herd. The pint size small horned little bastard was pissing the head Billy off. I thought of trading him off, but the attitude is something I found a great attribute in him. One day he would bring me many strong offspring in the future. I pulled out two of the young ones, and sent them over to my brothers grandchildren. He had a mate and a daughter before he died. He had grandchildren while in the Sky and I couldn't get started on the grass. I chuckled thinking of him slamming me down trying to get a headlock while getting me to say, he had the most fertile nuts. Brothers, we make no sense at all.

This caused me to watch a woman with her young daughter out collecting flowers by the thick bushes just beyond the outer wagons. It was one of those sights you really wished was your memory. The woman had a very round stomach, and the little girl was rubbing a flower against the swell. They were laughing and though I couldn't hear them, I could imagine the talk was over the soon joining baby. They would hold hands and walk across the grass, looking up to the birds as the Mother seemed to be pointing each one out to the little girl, then they sat and wove the flowers into chains of necklaces they shared with each other. The mother would braid some of the flowers into the little girls hair. That was really the last thing I remembered before I started looking up to the Sky, and there I saw some of the memories that had been lost in a deep hibernation in my heart. I saw the clouds turn into my dreams. Breanna was there, she was beautiful. Just to see her flawless smile again I felt tears moisten my cheeks. She was laughing and we were sitting by the edge of the stream. I was feeding her slices of redfruit, while we joked about names if the baby was a girl. I wanted to name her Stream, after our favorite place. Breanna said then a Warrior will think she has a weak bladder. How about a strong name filled with honor and life? Bosk! I got a face full of spit out redfruit as she laughed. I loved the sound of her laughter. Even while I cleaned my face, and she kissed off a bit left there, saying its my own fault for making her so happy. We would kiss under the moons, and I remember the first time I felt the kick of life I helped create under my palm. I had tears, we had tears, and so many dreams. Daughters with long braids, and sons with black eyes, and cut knees from sparring, and trying to catch a tarsk by the tail like some foolish story their father told them.

I saw it all in the Sky, and only did it fade into a haze of mist when I felt little fingers touch my hand. The little girl I had been watching brought me flowers she had made into a crown. Saying I looked so sad, and she didn't mean to be staring, but she didn't like tears. I lowered to my knee, so she could place them on my head, knowing what a big fool I might look like, but I made her smile, when I smiled too. She saved me just now, I wish she knew how much. Kissing her cheek I waved to her Mother as she ran back to her. I walked back to my wagons, feeling like a new man. With a crown of flowers on my head.

)(

There is something very peaceful about sitting on the grassy hill in the afternoon looking across the plains. Its rare I relax with no tunic on. Even in smoldering heat do I keep the light long sleeves of tunic across my arms. There is pride in scars, just not in those that were self inflected, even if a reminder of a young man's struggle of his own will. Something maybe in another hundred years I will get over. Tasha was by my side, we savor these moments of just the two of us, which are far and in between. She tells me stories of her home, the scents and the sands. The Thassa, and ships, battles and raids of infamous black slavers, and when she speaks them, the thrill in her voice tells me, her slavery was something that was truly suppressed back then. Just like a flower ready to bloom under the right care and light. She has blossomed well. The scene before us was perfection, that of endless hills of grass and our own thassa of bosk that stretched out across the background of our life. She spoke of how well Takara was learning, and how it made Tori jealous cause the girl was finding her place at my wagons. This pleased me greatly. All around. If Tori was starting to get on edge, means Takara was doing very well in Tori's eyes too. When it comes to slaves of pure loyalty and hard work, there would be no one I would compare to Tori. We laughed as I told stories of being a clear cheeked young man and daring my way to Turia. I stole clothing from a line dressing as city people, and wandering in with my best friend Jaron to their local Paga Den. I found my odd taste for Kalda there, and we wagered with Scarlet Warriors all night long, winning Daggers, coins and even cloaks of Caste. This amused the both of us, walking out with a green eyed slut from the Sands, for we had won her also in game of daggers across the post of the dancing sands. She wore yellow silks and chains of gold. Looking towards a bosk hooked to a cart with barrels stacked on it, we decided, to take it. It was getting late, and the gates would be closing soon. We were on a roll and with youth came foolishness. It was very clear when we took the merchant also, gagging him, hooding him and tossing him in the back of the cart covered in sacks of roasted nuts, and sweet chips of flat bread that were fried in sugar and cinnamon. Things that might be sold in bowls at paga dens. So there we were, I in a cloak of blue, and Jaron in one of green, just leading the bosk out, with the girl dancing around beside us, as honestly we had let her indulge in wines as we were feeling rich in the Den of Dwellers. We had just left the last gate as it was being pulled closed and vendors leaving with carts in the same path through the outer farms , though from where we were in our drunken haze, we could see the path ended before the first rise of hills across the plains. For some reason, that was the funniest shit me and Jaron had ever seen, and were bellowing out in laughter over it. We were totally oblivious of the dirty looks and questioning glances of those near us just trying to get home. It was like a spark was under our asses when we got this great idea. We told the girl to follow the path with the cart, leading the bosk until it ended, and then keep going past that. We would catch up. The drunk girl thought that was a adventure, going on about sand, or some silly shit hills, I can't remember, I'm sure she was thinking who in their right minds would go beyond the path? Tasha was giggling as she would mold into my arms and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of it all. Not to draw out a very long story, I told her the few things I learned that night.

One, don't set a barn or house on fire while your still in it. Not smart at all.

Two, if your on fire, don't run.

Three, if your friend who can't read breaks open the lid of a barrel and says put your head in this to make the fire in your hair go out, smell it first. Fire likes paga.

Oh yes, and once we both made it, naked, cause our clothing caught on fire, I was bald with a badly burned head, and to drunk to think much on it, and Jaron had half his hair burned off, we discovered another thing. A gagged hooded merchant can suffocate under sacks of nuts and sweet chips. Our bad. Rolling him out, letting the girl drive forward, it was morning by the time we got back to the wagons, hung over, put on trench duty for three days, and was only give sweet chips out of our finds to keep, as our Fathers took the rest. For a lesson learned. Not bringing back enough slaves for everyone.

It was good to share a laugh, I gave her a slap on the ass, to get her going. A second one for making me lay across the grass so long and late for a meal with a toothless patient, who only makes mush. Yum. The rounds were long and slow. Nothing good to make me think. A few good scars on some young men, that they were proud of after a few 'hidden' tears I would never tell about when they were brought in. I did have one interesting afternoon. A little boy, maybe four years old, had a huge bug up his nose. It wasn't an issue of getting it out, it was an issue of him not wanting it out. His mother was saying leave him be, the Father wanted the bug out. The boy said, why not? Two heads are better then one. Smart kid, I was impressed. So after a very long debate, between me and the boy, me and the mom, me and the dad, the dad and the boy, the mom and the dad, I had the headache and we all settled on one good tug, if it doesn't come out, it can stay. So all were semi happy, for I only made sure to pull off the wings and legs so nothing was hanging out obvious.

I have to say, I was happy to get back to my wagons. It was busy, but I wanted to have some warm blackwine, my hands rubbed, and maybe some dancing for my entertainment. The girls were off working on some hides and I had Takara who looked very lovely kneeling before me. I have to honestly say, she has been a very good find. Beautiful, Lustful, Eager, and had great tits and ass. She wasn't to bad on serving either. She was picking things up fast, and I had gotten many compliments on her. I wanted the brand she had, covered in a deep mark of four horns. But before that, I decided, to pierce her nose. Removing her bells, and showing her how to dress in clad kajir, I thought the hoop at her nose was a perfect touch.

I enjoy looking at her. Her beauty was not unique. It was very common for the tribe. Dark hair, eyes, and fair skin starting to hue under the sun. Her feel was what was unique. I wanted to learn more about her. She moved like liquid fire that never burns the skin when touched, but ignites it with her. I like to see the struggle in her. I can see she wants to tear into me like a hungered sleen. I like the suffering of making her stay back. I want to see the begging whimper of body at my feet, that I could mold up into something that is perfect, for me.

)(

I have way too many thoughts in my head this day. It started off wrong, when I woke and found all the girls gone to do their daily chores. Any other time its a moment of peace, I had not slept good, I usually sleep far into the afternoon when I have over night patrol, but this time sleep left me feeling empty. A need. A need to feel warmth beside me. To feel skin. Soft skin, that would just press up against my fingers, wanting my touch. I wanted to see long dark hair across my furs, bare flesh beside me, deep breaths of her slumber, a dream I would let my ego fill with knowing they were all of me. But, I looked down and all I saw was empty fur. I laid back against the empty spot that still smelled like Tori. I chuckle would touch, thinking of how I tried to force her to mate me. What a fool I was. So much of a self centered need to not be alone I would try to tear her out of where she found comfort and safety. She wanted to not hide a thing from me, and I didn't get it until she screamed and said she would hate me forever if I dared. So I fucked her, collared her and we called it a day. I never thought of it with Tasha. She doesn't make me feel the same as Tori did. Though, those lips, Damn. There was no point in laying there longer, and I was not in the mood to cure my own need. Though I did let a sweet little blonde who came to tell me Hannah wished to see me sometime this afternoon, get hands on with my issue as I sat on the platform and enjoyed fresh black wine. By the second bowl I was feeling better, and she was whimpering something with muffled words. Odd, sluts always trying to talk with a full mouth. After a brief scolding for the mess she made and well, just having to throw her ass over the edge of the railing, I would have to talk to Hannah and her mate about trading for this girl. If not anything else, I can't remember any girl that has brought me the kind of service she did, in the best bowl of black wine ever. I could handle starting every mid morning like that.

Hannah was giving me a light smile. She wanted me to check Bull out, he had some rash under his folds in his neck. It was simple, he was drooling around and it was keeping the flesh moist and chaffing. Just put a rep cloth bib on him, and keep him dry. Damn, he never ceased to amaze me. He was huge. I could see fist full of bosk in those hands soon. I would ask Hannah how she was feeling. With this pregnancy so soon, I was worried. Today she was looking good. Pink to her skin, and a little bit of weight on her normally frail limbs. I told her I was proud of her, and it seemed to be what she was waiting to hear. She was taking good care of herself.

I went out to tend to the Bosk for the rest of the evening. Young ones had been branded earlier and any new straggler births had been branded already also. I had some already horn tip painted that would not be making the trip north with us. I had commission some meat cutters to come and help me take a few down. The hides would keep us warm all wintering season, and the meat be all we needed with much to spare for others. When I was starting to head back, I noticed a break in the center. Riding over on Cure, I couldn't help but feel my chest tighten looking down at my main bull fighting for a breath on the ground. I looked around finally trying to figure out what happened. A younger bull had taken him down. Hit him down causing his front legs to shatter under his own weight. Such was the will of the Sky, survival of the fittest.

I had raised that bosk, it was hard to give a man's mercy to a grand beast. Slitting his throat, the heat of blood pouring over my hands. It stirred something dark and deep. I felt the blade against my own flesh as I started to run it along his limbs pulling the hide back. I would tend to him myself, harvesting every organ, every stone of meat, clean every bone. Ahn's rolled by before I would allow my girls to come collect the work I had completed. The throb was heavy. Blood that cloaked my flesh was smoother then any silk felt up the thighs of a curvy slut. I felt like a sleen locked in a cage wanting to get out once the darkness coated the land. It was making me angry. I don't know why, it was. I stood in the stream watching the water become stained. Like a hand reaching out across the waves, clawing against the ripples to not allow them to break its course.

When I got to the main fires, my mood still was hazed with this feeling. My first thought said to go back to my wagons. I wanted to smell the sage and dung of the main fires. The sleens growl was still a vibration deep in the back of my head. Calm. Remain Calm. My words were laced by the growl. They were speaking. The prowling sleen that wanted to hunt. Before I could find control, it had started its stalking. Once it hit the will and power of another, it started to pull back on hind legs, drawing out claws on all six, ready to battle. The head of the pack had made its claim, I could only pace. Pace in my own angry circle. I walked off, clearing my head, letting the hair lay back, and claws start to find home in the warmth of my own hands.

The sleen was resting. I was able to think. Compassion found its return, who had locked it away? I had Takara make us a meal of things that were nothing but that for the sweetest of tooth. I brought my own stash. I found Cana, and told her I could no longer her be healer. In such I have decided I would be a friend. We, Cana, Tarra and I, talked, laughed and made wagers of weight and will. I broke out my favorite rare treat, of thick sweet syrupy Turian liquor. We ate, we drank, and danced. Cana's witty tale of a less endowed Turian Warrior caused Rook to take her home. Takara, my beauty, was flushed and warm. I could smell her lust, and one couldn't help the moment. Tarra was flowing against my arms, she had this scent that would awaken every sense. It was hot, she was beautiful, the moment would have been one of melting her against the ground and tasting bit of skin, heating the grass with sex and desire. I brushed a kiss against her neck. Flames tasted so sweet. The sleen started to growl again. To much temptation. It was time to hunt, my girls would be my pray.

)(

I woke up covered in sweat. Pushing bodies off of me, I walked out, knowing Tori would unbind Takara on the platform. All I knew was, I needed water. Lots of it. I just simply walked out to the stream coated in sweat. That was in. Naked, I felt the prickle of cool morning air that was a feeling of thankfulness for the Sky's kindness. What had I dreamed about? Truths. Did Truths matter? Did flesh matter? Why was I dreaming of my blood, then of my heart. To say I didn't have an identity crisis happening sometimes, was a huge lie. I wanted to be fully Tuchuk so bad, my skin bore the scars of trying to peel away what haunts me the most. Would Fathers refuse to let their lines be tainted by pure Paravaci blood? Why was this bothering me today? Because I dreamt of children. Sons and Daughters with heavy bands of gold and gems. Running around happy, happy in lands with Bosk branded in the mark of bola. What did this mean? Was it an old memory or a haunting of a very hidden wonder of my past? I didn't want either one. I didn't want it.

When did these nightmares start? I knew the day. The day I knew/learned what I was capable of. The first man I would ever kill, a mirror image. I had stolen his bosk. When I took it, it was clear they were stolen also. From the marks, they were Kataii bosk. It was a meeting I felt was humor of the Sky. He had been sleeping under a brush with the bosk tethered to its base by their rings. It was a battle for he was smarter then I. He had been pretending to sleep under the helmet he was still wearing. We fought with quiva, much blood between us. It was like a perfect match. We were the same height, build and it seemed strength. I removed my helm finally, tossing it to the side, for the loosened mesh was hitting me in the eyes. I went for another strike and letting the blade run across his throat with a single slice. Once I had done so, I couldn't get, why...it happened. Why had he stopped? Why hadn't I noticed he stopped? I just attacked, and he never lifted an arm. I was dumbfounded. I felt, cheated. Collecting my wits, did I finally remove his helmet. To see this person who just gave way to me. Only then did I understand. The death in his light brown eyes, just stared at me. This mirror. This Reflection. This Paravaci, who must have been out also, to earn his first scar, just like I. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see, his eyes were shaped like mine, his face like I was looking against the surface of a clear quiet stream. No. I didn't. I had to remove it, so no one would know. No one. The rage consumed me. I carefully removed every feature, until the face was nothing but a mask of pink and white tissue, and the eyes were removed, fed to my kaiila. No one would ever see. No one. No one. I sat there, next to the body, wondering what I had done, and why.

The same thing still that bothers me.

Truth and Me.

What a way to start my morning. I didn't notice the cuts at my palm. My own fingers. I finished washing up, they were shallow. I was always careful with my hands. Its only when, I was not one with flesh in my minds wanderings do I find odd cuts and bruises. I wondered if I sleep walk, or what its it I do, the girls don't tell me about. I have no idea. Right now, I didn't care, I had to wash this feeling off, and start my day. The dream, thought, member of blood caused the stir of darkness. Its weight on my subconscious of need, as I walked back to my wagon, showered with by whistling and teasing slaves. It made me smile. Sluts, got to love them. Getting back to my wagon, I dressed and started out to my rounds, as Tori was gone, Tasha working with Takara, and I told Hannah I would be over this morning. She had something she said was a concern, but nothing that couldn't wait till morning. On the way there, I stopped to check on the woman who had the arrow piercing. Before I walked up the steps I would speak with the birthing Woman, who was checking on her also. I wish there was a better way, but the child that no longer kicked, had to be born. Had to be freed, to be given back to the Sky. I told her give it another few days, then she will be strong enough for the roots to induce. I would be around if needed, but usually the women knew how to take care of this. Honestly nothing I really wanted deal with. I kept a smile as I went in and spoke with her. She was doing great, better then I expected. I changed the dressings, before heading out towards Hannah's wagons. She was still pale. Maybe she just needed to spend more time outside. Baby Bull, was huge. Just rolling thick at what? Eight hands? I was impressed. She brought me a bowl of black wine, strong, black. I sat with the baby looking him over as she rested across from me. She just kind of blurted it out. Nothing like preparing me. She thought she was pregnant again already. I just stared at her as I drank, and the baby reached for the buttons of my vest. I finished the bowl, letting Bull have it, since it was cool, with no hot drops left. He would take it to his mouth, watching his face form the obvious dislike for the strong flavoring still left on the rim.

I suppose I should be saying Congratulations? I wasn't prepared for her to start crying. I handed the baby and the bowl back to her, sitting closer. Explaining, no tears until my second bowl. It was going to be okay. It was nothing new. Women have been doing this for as long as there was bosk. She just had to be careful, the body hasn't completely gone back to normal yet. If she was going to be popping out a herd of bulls, she would need some extra rest, liquids, fatty foods, to get some weight gain up, and, sit on the steps in the light for at least a turn of shadows twice a day. She needed some color. I told her, I had no doubt she would be a great mother, two fold. Just relax. It seemed to make her feel better. I finished my second bowl, telling her I would have Tori make her this sweet bread that was packed with good things. I didn't want to tell her, Tori took them to a woman once, that was needing some weight, and I swear, I never saw a woman's ass get so round in my life. It was great. Her mate gave me four more Verr, he was so pleased with the results.

I left to do my rounds and I had to work on changing out my two back wheels of my supply wagon. Which meant, emptying it out before I changed them. It would be a long afternoon, but one I was honestly looking forward to. Jaron had been doing better once his mates hormones were starting to even out. He came by to help me, venting out how lucky I was to still be single. I could only chuckle when I was just thinking, what a lucky man he was.

I was exhausted by the time evening was starting to come. I had patrol tonight, so wanted to spend some time at the fires. I needed to get a collection of Vulo happening. Had wagers to pay off still. Arriving to the fires, I got comfortable, and was amazed I feel asleep so quickly. I was awakened by a hand going for my crotch. A very pretty hand I tend to be fond of. Chuckling I released Tarra's hand, and had Takara bring me food as we talked. I was tired, and that weight was getting heavier inside of me. It was making me feel cranky like a teething child. I wanted whatever to happen and I was just not doing good with the waiting game. Her, Tarra's, Father arrived. He told me to select a weapon of choice for a spar. We fought, fought well, but it seemed the Elder Warrior topped me. I didn't go down without a fight though. We spoke for a bit after that, before we all looked to were he tossed his lance. Before the feet of the young Leather Worker. It caught my attention and the attention of most of us there. The arrival starting building up as the Elder Warrior got into a heated talk with the Young Leather Worker. I meant no disrespect but it seemed like a petty take to be having with a woman. He should have told one of the men of her wagon to deal with this issue over talking about someone. Who really cared? Women talk to damn much sometimes in general. By then we had a nice big gathering, I tried to change the subject with a lighter talk of my own needs. I needed Vulo. Me and the young Leather worker talked of a trade as Kam went on to speak about this issue again with the Ubar. I have to say, I couldn't help but chuckle when I heard the offended person was...a kaiila. Its one thing to love your kaiila, but don't Love your Kaiila. I thought this person was a son or Brother. It was a Beast. Sorry Cure, but I don't give an Urt's ass who speaks of you. The talk turned more intense when it switched to something of more importance. I didn't know Tarra's Father well enough to form a solid opinion, but what I heard was to a good base for me to build one on. It wouldn't be getting off the ground. I am very sensitive about those that just destroy life. For one who will toss a lance before a woman as if in a challenge over the honor of a kaiila, but would quickly take a quiva to an Ubara. I wasn't getting any of it. The rest of the night lead me into a quiet state, as ranks were stripped, slaves changed hands, Tarra left in an emotional mess, as did Cana. I could understand both.

I would check on Cana tomorrow, Tarra, I think its time I paid up on wagers. Perhaps it will left her spirits. I could only imagine the dishonor and confusion she might be feeling.

)(

I had figured it out. I had been asking many to find me herlit feathers. I was great at outsourcing to get what I need when I was having overloads of patients. I thought I would look through those freshly brought to me, and something would tell me which would be the right one. For some reason, the answer came to me, while I was on patrol. I was at the post just outside our lands, letting Cure have his head and pace the grounds, as we were both alert in the light of the stars and moons. Seeing wings overhead be the only break in the light, was when it, all made sense. I felt like some young man bringing in his first kill. I had figured it out, like the wager was based on a riddle. For some odd reason, I pondered if Tarra would be impressed. I got it. Or of how I would interpret it. In inner chuckle cleared my head of it. Here and now. Looking out across the night, did I see something, just as soon as there was a low growl in the breeze from Kado. It was small, thin legged. I sent Kado out to bring it to me. It would be a fitting task, as I had been working with him in herding at night. I was looking around for any hint of any others that might be around, for this was obviously a woman. She was wearing torn clothing, not of a slave, I did a quick assessment once the girl was brought back to me, by the young dark sleen. She was speaking, screaming, which I took no heed to her, but would send off Kado to search the grounds, while I entertained myself with tearing the bits of cloth from her body, and bind her to my saddle. She was lucky I was just doing another round before going back, or I would have kept her bound to the back of my saddle for the rest of my patrol. I took her back to my wagons, and found that she was no stranger to slavery, even if her clothing had told tales of something different, her body and soul didn't.

I was impressed, very much so, at her strive to learn and adjust. I am not an easy man to serve, but in time, she will adjust to my schedule. Over the days that have pasted, I think her and Tasha learned a lesson. One that you respect what is mine. Takara's ignorance was Tasha's mistake. I think the strikes of my displeasure was an impact on Takara, but the beating she received later, was a lesson to her. Jealous behavior would not be okay when it came to the well being of what is mine. I blamed Tasha for Takara being to stupid to feed herself. You are not in the city anymore, eat to work, eat to work harder. Drink to stay strong, be smart. I think she is use to coddling Dwellers that like to puppet their slaves every motions. Here, slaves had to think. After that, I doubt there as any issues anymore. At least on the minor stuff. I have heard some pleased with her. This makes me proud. She is a vessel of heat and passion, yet, yearns to do better. I see it in her actions. She is beautiful. I have yet to see what the core of her desires, right now I just have seen the generic slave. A slut that serves in want. I want to see what her heart has to say, not any past imprints of others, I want to see, her. There are times I wonder if I see that glow of pure self. I have noticed with Dweller slaves that come over, that glow is a mere wet wick barely holding a flame. Self has been taken out of them, but after time, it starts to show, in a life that needs personality. Like here on the plains. I feel almost excited to see it shine. To peel away the layers of past and find, the being that has been dressed and trained in palms of many. I can't find fault in it all, for she brings me water with cloths when I sit. Such a simple gesture, makes me feel at home with her. I watch her walk, and it stirs me. Not like a common lust, but with a pride of owning a girl that seems to have a heat that wraps around her body as naturally as her own skin. I think of my name craved into her skin, that when any touch or use her, enjoy this vessel of insatiable passion, when she is fucked, its my name she feels bleeding against her flesh. Mine.

She was there, when the strangest thing happened to me. It was like everything around me stopped. There was just, me, her and the hand. I know I was talking I know she was talking, I know Takara was talking. I was fixing the hand. I was very worried about the hand. The owner of the hand, I liked, a lot. She was very caring, almost had this mothering feel, that brought me comfort, even if she was giving that soothing compassion to someone else. I wanted to fix her hand, make her happy. Heal her so she can again rock the anguish away from all that encounter her. I wondered if she knew, it wasn't just the binds of colored wool she could knot, and make warm and safe. Even with this, I scolded her like a child. Perhaps a daughter. At my age, it was an obvious feeling. But...She. She was haunting me. Just there, touching the hand while I worked so hard to repair it. I brushed the side of her fingers, just in a moment of picking up a thin bone needle and thread. I felt a warmth, a memory. I worked, and I looked up, to her eyes, and my mind spoke, though not my lips. 'Do you know I feel in love with the feel of you, generations before you were born? A feel that has nothing to do with touch? Did you know that?' I felt a firm growl of inner sleen of logic telling me...to stop. I finished up my stitching, telling myself to avoid those eyes. They were too wise. Did not my heart seem to be concerned when she was off on a journey? It did. But the growl told me, not to worry about the Ubar's woman. He had that well taken care of, foolish man. I dismissed it then, why was I having issues now? Ignore it. We joked and laughed, in our world. The Weaver, was a joy. The line of sanity I needed, along with the brush of flesh of my girl. She had no idea how I used her to center myself with the reality of here and now. We walked the Weaver to her wagon, still a bit off on her balance. I let her, held the Weaver in her sleeping furs while I waited outside the wagon to walk her back towards the first fires. I looked to her, as we said our Be Wells. I wondered, if she felt it? Do you feel it? I wanted to know. Sanity was waiting for me at my wagons, I had to find it. I ran to it.

I fucked it with such violence, I think neither of us will look at blue ribbons ever the same, and I slept with her blood still at my tongue. And a rage that was brewing deep in my dreams.

)(

There is this overwhelming feeling of comfort when you step into the grounds of your own wagons. It could be after a long trip, Battle, Raids, or as in my case, a long day of working, meeting patients, I went out and cut a bosk, older, she not longer gave milk and no longer gave calves. I thanked the Sky for such offerings, and put her down, having the girls work on the bulk, with a few of the younger daughters of patients that were willing to learn how to cut meat and get every part ready for drying, boiling, and trading. I was making sure there would be enough meat for trading for treated leather for clothing for me and the girls. The hide would be fitting for boots and jackets. The rest would be dried for jerky, bones for trading, hooves for boiling, and every part would bring in goods I needed to get ready for the move, which was not even being spoken of pending future, but I will be honest, my time is between patrol, patients, maintaining my herds of bosk and verr, and wagons. I didn't have time to work on rope, leather, or anything stable like that. I only did minor repairs on my wagons, the rest I traded out for. My girls were very good at making what I needed, but would let me know what was needed when it was low, or needed to be replaced. The bulk of such was placed on Tasha to keep all the wagons going and my two storage wagons in order. I had seven wagons total. Tori was either with me, or with patients. One of the reasons I am thinking of adding another slave to two. Probably the first time in a long time I thought about a mate. What woman would want to come into this? Busy mate. I think one of the major reasons I really thought of another. My ahn long mating no counted in that fact. I was home, about to head towards my wagon, forget about a meal having that fast forgotten the reason why I was coming straight home to begin with. It was a quick reminder seeing the slender outline of a very redheaded slave asleep on my steps. She looked so peaceful there. The soft part of her lips as she would take a deep breath in her dreams amused me. It was a nice bit of body, her skin intrigued me. For some reason, I thought of splatters of blood. Dried and smooth across leather like dotted stain designs. All over her body, I wanted to touch them, I wondered if I got close enough, would I see them move? I crouched in front of her, just watching her breath. The fine outline of her lips. The color of her hair against its frame of her face. It made it more appealing when she woke up startled, screaming. My girls were very amused, hearing something about it was the first time they have seen me make a girl scream with just a gaze. Making sure she was able to get herself together, she continued to amuse me. I noticed the lack of brand, the ring of bells that chimed in soft background of her scream.

Fresh meat.

I walked to the fires to eat. I needed to say nothing, my girls knew what I wanted, what to bring, how to bring it. Both made sure to be seen, waiting for any beckon or wants for me. Right now, my eyes were on the girl that followed carefully. Her eyes told of wanting to say something. Of needing to. I liked making her wait. If one watches the actions of one waiting long enough, you can almost see and hear the beat of the heart against the chest. I finally allowed her to show me what she brought. Very nice gifts from the Ubar and his woman for the care of Cana. I would examine them in greater detail later. Right now, to me, this girl, was a gift also. I liked the noises she made when I touched her. I finally allowed her to tell me what she wanted to know. Her words...as amusing at they were, seemed to feed into that restlessness. It caused me to really notice its feeling. It forced me to. I no longer saw her, heard her, I felt her warmth, and tasted the flow of blood that was rushing across her pulse. All I could do was stand up, take a handful of red locks, and drag her ass with me, to my..work wagon. It was back behind my storage wagons. Very rare I take a slave that wasn't my own back here, to entertain me. My girls loved it. Begged for it. Dropping her to the ground, I looked around it, lighting the candles. I have not used it in sometime. It was still clean and ready for me. The girls made sure of it. It was designed for both of my skilled......trades. For me to stay keen and knowledgeable. There are times, though it has been awhile, when I purchase or am given a slave for just that deed. Warriors bring me girls found unworthy to work on my cuts and examine the body with. Most, are left to be tossed to the sleens when I am finished. Tori had no issues cleaning up after me. It would help in many things. How much blood can be lost while repairing different injuries before death. It was really better on slave girls cause they were smaller, and had less muscle then Warriors. So I would know the short time and be able to do so with someone who might have more of an allowance. There are times when I want to see, what organs I can repair, which there is no hope for.

Tonight was not for that. It was for the other. The desire for me to see suffering. To feel its pain sweated through flesh. A body to plead, and my enjoyment to give nothing, but take everything. I Wish To Take. I found myself locked in a deep fantasy of mine. The way I welcomed my own girls to my wagon. To take a Dwellers Freewoman and see her ripped from the core of flesh and birth of pure passionate woman wanting, begging, desiring to be found, worthy. Its that moment you can taste like you ripped the flesh and drank away that cold essence with your own lips. I enjoyed every ihn myself. I tasted her, I felt her, change. Once she was pleading, trembling, wet in a slaves need, I was done. I lost interest. She was not mine, I would not give anything else. I won't deny my own thought of waiting until she was snaked at my feet begging, to fuck her like the whore that was just birthed. Perhaps one day in the near future. Perhaps.

She gave just a lustful calm to my restlessness. It was still hungry but for something now, that knew my every want. I walked to my wagons, letting my girls taste the virginal flavor from my mouth. I told them once I was, as a whole, body and mind, sated, to release the girl, then send her home in the morning. Slept well. I guess the core was still thinking. I saw blood, running up a stone wall. I looked over where I stood, as I dreamed, and it was I, walking through the great gates of Turia.

)(

There is one thing I enjoy, the sound of family. My wagons are pretty quiet considering. There is just me and the girls in my bundle of home. The family next us were a group of three brothers who broke off from their family wagons, which honestly where behind us, and moved up next to me. It was fights, wagers and girls giggling and screaming out most of the nights. The ones to the other side, were an older couple who's grandchildren came during the day, but the nights were very quiet. I am boxed by my personal wagon, a slave wagon, and my two healing wagons, with the fire in the middle. I liked the sounds of the first wagons. There was many around. Camp slaves were all over the tribe, first and back wagons, but they seemed to be louder here. Happy. I did chuckle as I was on my way there, something about Silken's pink wagon amuses me. I feel like I should have something bright and standing out on my healing wagons. I will have to ask her who does her designing. I will pass on the pink but will have to see what else might be able to compete. Looking around the lay out of the wagons, it was as I would imagine any family wagons. Large family. I had been here before, but never took time to look over the lay out. Maybe I will close the space when I settle my wagons closer. It was a long process, the moving of wagons. The row, the entire row had to be moved and adjusted to make room for all my wagons. If I adjust them smaller then before, then I won't worry about wanting to fill them. Maybe when I was older, or that is what I said to the women I see who suggest mating age daughters to me. Maybe when I'm older and ready to settle again. It was a common joke. I walked up to the two women talking. Tarra and Cana. I said I had to do an examination and she seemed shy about it. I asked Tarra to join us and she asked also. I assured her I would never go into a wagon alone with a woman, without another one there. I am not here to make anyone to feel uncomfortable. I checked her over, was asking questions that made her emotions flare. I wanted to see how her breathing changed with the feelings. She was thin, pale, and still very emotional. I expected all of these things. In honesty, she was doing good, but still needed to rest. I try to bring up some lighter feelings once I got her on edge. It seemed to work as she calmed down. Rest, food, and water. She really needed that over anything else. A slow introduction to food, and again. Rest. Rest. Rest.

I left there, slowly walking out find the Ubar to give my report. Of course I let Rook know also. I had no doubt between the Ubar, Rook, and Tarra, no issues would come from anything I asked. There was a small redhead waiting for me at my wagons. She had looked for me earlier and I told her I would be there after the settle of the third moon. I was looking forward to see what this persistent girl wanted. I paused to talk to Jaron for some time. He said he thought his young mate was with child. I asked him, what gave him that idea? She got upset when he got home the other night, something she never does. Saying he took extra patrols so he doesn't have to come home and be a good mate. To spend time with her. Then he woke up with her gone, and his ankle chained to the wall, where he use to chain girls before he was mated, by his sleeping furs. He waited until I finished laughing, and trying to breath, to give me a very serious look. He wanted me to go ask her. He was afraid to go back to his wagon, much less sleep there again. She had left him, and took every key in the wagon with her. She hung them by the entrance flap for him to see.

Again, he had to wait for me to get the vision out of my head, before he could once more continue. He spoke of having to use quiva to pry the brace from the wagon wall. It took 2 ahns. He walked across the wagon for the keys dragging the chains to get the hanging ring, and not any of them matched. She had the key and he had no idea where she was. He figured she went to her parents wagon for the day, which was further towards the back. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her wrath anymore and stayed there, with the chains hidden under his leathers until he went on patrol. He spoke of the links making noise every time the kaiila moved. I looked down to...see, he shook his head and said he got a forge wagon member to get it off. Minor burns, he wanted me to check them out later. Right now, just find his woman and talk to her. He was...afraid.

I gave him my promise to look for her in the morning, telling him to put some salve on the burns, don't wrap them tonight, and he should be okay. I knew her parents, good people. Right now, there was something more interesting at home, and I was ready to see just what that was.

)(

A young Warrior brought a woman over his saddle. She had been near men practicing arrows on targets. A stray arrow had become in lodged in her chest. Not just lodged in, but it clearly had sliced and sealed an artery. I didn't even need to do anything else but look to see that. There was no blood. She was weak, plain, and in obvious pain. She was very pregnant also. I have come face to face with these moments long before Brianna died. Many times after. Each doesn't make the next any easier. Like a scar that still flares up raw when its hit. The feeling throbs, but I have learned to push it back, and keep working. I told the young Warrior to go find the woman's mate, as Tarra held her up for me. I felt her pulse, the motion of the baby inside. Both were starting to slow down more then I would have liked. Quickly. The blood wasn't flowing, if he didn't get here soon, I would lose them both. I never make choices on a woman's fate without the mate, if possible. He was on patrol, so it was possible. There was a moment, a talk, a feeling, new and old in the conversation me and Tarra had while we waited with the woman. Over the gifts of our hands and fate. She offered something I openly denied. Perhaps its my own narrow views. When I heal, I heal. I take control and responsibility over what I do. I make sure its cared for, and put my honor upon each touch. She wanted to help, in her own special way. I said no. One or the other. The mate could make that choice. This wasn't the same as Cana's incident. Perhaps it was. I had nothing to do with her mind, but just the body. The mind was the fate of others. Perhaps I would have still looked her over, but if I had been told it was an issue of Spex's I would have waited till they were done. One never puts their own feelings before that if the wants of the Ubar. He wanted me there, I was there. Honestly, I would never say no, but if the choice is mine, I will let the patient decide what route of healing they wish to take. There are some that put their lives completely in the hands of the Spex. Feeling its the Sky's fate they have infections, fevers, an arm half hanging off their shoulder. Their are even times when Spex have come to me, telling me it is beyond such beliefs. Mostly with children do they come to me. They honor the elders view of such, but will have me meet them in wagons with children, who need time to grow up and make their own choices, but for now are locked in the ways of their family wagons. I am okay with getting no appreciation for what I do from the families, but I thank those who are willing to come get me, when their hands can't reach in and heal that, which needs another touch of skill. I have a great respect for the Haruspex. They started my destiny in tribe. I don't think I have ever told anyone that. Not even my first Mate. It was something special between my Father and I. Her name is Suette, she had a daughter named Kei. Kei was beautiful. I had a child's crush on her most of my life. I would always go with my Father to see Suette. It was nothing that would end up some childhood dream to come together as adults. She loved a Warrior named Feliu once we were older. I never told her how I felt. When I was ready, it was too late. Funny how something I haven't thought of, came to mind during the first few days of my ventures of the First Fires. I met a woman who looked like Feliu. They could have been family. Somehow. The same dark hair, shape of eyes, deepness of eyes, features of the face, and smooth contour of skin. I wanted to ask. How does one say....to the Ubar's woman, 'Hey you look like a woman who I use to dream of as a kid, that I loved and never told. Happen to be related to her?' No, one does not do that. Does not share things so touching with those who might see truths that I want to stay hidden. Tarra makes me feel that way. Like she knows. Is it a comfort, or a worry? That I didn't know. My weaknesses I wear in scars that outline my body. My torment I wear in my eyes. I wasn't ready to share those full truths. The last woman who I shared it with, looks down at me, holding our child, and I smile when I see two stars next to each other with matching flares.

Yes, all of this in an roll of ehns waiting for the Mate to join us. He did, and I had to have him make a choice no man ever should. Who do you wish to survive? Your mate, or your child? I can save the child, but you will lose your mate. I can try to save the mate, but the lose of blood and the infections and wear on the body, will be at the expensive of the child in womb. I could see the struggle. I knew it. It hurts. He choice his mate, knowing the risk was there, she wouldn't make it either. I respect him for being willing to take that risk. There was so much blood, it was like a blanket of crimson across the ground. Across her body. She looked so beautiful, peaceful, as I worked. When I finished, I was pleased. I watched him walk off with his Mate in his arms, and I smiled to Tarra. With that over, I had vulo and Herlit feathers to think of. Fresh one.

The next morning I went to check on the woman. She was still a bit out of it due to the loss of blood and the teas we have given her. I have left Tori there to help. She had other children, and was asking of I was three. At this point, I said I was, cause she asked me like eleven times. With that, she reached over and gave me a slap, told me to stop putting stones in her pots when she was boiling vulo eggs, she pickled more stones then eggs last time. I just said sorry and would stop. Had to cut a look to Tori who was giggling as I backed up rubbing my cheek, walking out to see her mate sitting on the steps. He asked me what I did. I said put stones in the boiling eggs. He said he got slapped for taking her shoes again to feed the vulos, so I wouldn't have to clean mine later. She called me Mellea. I don't think I look like my daughter. He almost looked depressed over that. I had to chuckle when he told me she gave his hair a good tug for doing that. I assured him, I was sure his daughter was much prettier, and that she would be fine in a few days. I had Tori find the paga for the man, and make sure to make him feel, as a real man should, before I slapped her ass and started towards the first wagons.

I asked around for Ayguili. Was pointed towards the area of Tarra's wagons. I remember this cause I walked her home one night. A common joke between us, how everyone usually leaves and we are the two left sometimes. Not sure who scares people off more. Me or her. I found them talking and was about to turn and leave, or wait discreetly, but she called me out. We spoke of Cana for a bit, I promised as soon as we were done talking I would go see her. I shared my concerns, he shared his concerns. I promised to give a full report once I was finished with my examine. I asked to speak with him privately. Tarra went to see Cana while I spoke with Ayguili. I told him of my wishes. My wishes to explore realms of life I once lived. A desire to serve, and a want that was once more awakened. How I served with honor and no doubt in the past. It was a stirring. Like a need to ride out and burn down the weakened ways of Dwellers. He told me to move my wagons up. It was a moment where even in this desire to get my way, I as grateful I didn't. I had to prove, I was fit for that kind of trust. Prove my control. My skill. My honor and loyalty. It was one challenge I was up for. I gave him my word to prove this.

)(

The day was running smoothly. Strangely so. There was nothing major beyond a few dislocated elbows and shoulders, one strain, and two mild concussions. The concussion amused me. It was something I just literally ran into. Two young Warriors were on foot working on their bola's. The had a feisty looking slave, with long hair, and very dark eyes running for them. I was rather enjoying just watching the nude slave jump, climb, duck, and go under barrels, crates, wagons, carts, kaiila, even other slaves as the two boys gave chase to try to lock on to her enough to throw the bola's. At the point of when I heard the buzz of bola's start to fly in the air, she had one of the boys on the East, and the other on the West. She was running dead up the center from North to South. I couldn't even yell stop, duck, or watch out when I saw what happened. She simply.....ducked. The bolas struck each young Warrior with such direct capture, I wasn't sure for an ihn..who to run to as both went down. It was mere ihns to cut the bolas from their necks and bring them into a semi conscious state. They both gave weak chuckles while the girl was sobbing at both of the boys boots for mercy. Only one lost tooth, both sporting black eyes, and one broken nose, it was a story for the ages. Both just needed to be careful, head injuries are very dangerous, and young Warriors were even harder to contain then head strong women, when it came to R.E.S.T. After that I tended to the regulars, and doing my normal rounds. I stopped and spoke with Hannah some. She was doing better, but not as well as I had hoped. She looked pale, frail. She was moving, and tending to Bull with ease, which was pleasing. I told myself not to worry to much. I sometimes worry too much. I know that. A personality flaw of the trade. She was smiling, her feel was one of happiness. I shared a meal with her, and spoke of how she was noticing all the things Bull was picking up quickly. I saw some light in her eyes of how proud her mate was, and how much he has been helping. With a promise of eating more meat to put on some weight, so the baby wouldn't cause her back to hurt soon, I was off to check on my own supplies at my two personal healing wagons, and general supplies I kept for each season. It was still hot and the ground still warm, but one starts thinking of the move early. I would have to keep an eye out, for most of my weather telling I did from the Verr. The way they act, and the feel of their wool told much. Tasha was good with Verr. Far better then Tori, who gave it a good try, but I would rather they be tended by someone with more knowledge. That is Tori's greatest failure. She tries to hard to be perfect at everything that surrounds my life. I don't need that in a slave. I need her to do her best at what she is good with. Something I could say until my last breath, and I don't think she would get it. Tasha got it, but she, Tori, was a different creature. I do give myself some of the blame for the way she acts. I have no true complaints. Yet.

Merchant season should be coming up. We always get the mass of their wagons near preparation time to get ready for the Move. I was looking forward to it. Things from the Dwellers were of no true love loss if I didn't have them, but they were good sometimes. I liked to trade for books, and old printings. They figured I liked just pictures, but I could read, nothing I would ever go out of my way to share with anyone. Not really needed all that much here. When the Merchant wagons came, I would buy palm wine. It was thick and very sweet. Tasha would be in tears hoping I would remember to get it every year. Something she savors from her past life in Schendi. I do spoil my girls during Merchant season, letting them pick out fabrics, ribbons, beads and whatever might perk their slave interest. I have no reason to keep them so humble, they are good girls. I only beat them when they forget its my kindness, that , should not to be challenged. There are times, I have had to remind them of that, when they get to petty and fight with each other over material things. I doubt neither will forgot the year, they have coined, as the 'breaking by bead' year. It was long ago, and the girls were fighting over a bina necklace. Tori ripped it off Tasha's neck and beads went flying all over. Both girls in tears over the necklace destroyed, they would start to collect the beads rolling across the wagon floor. I had not noticed a bead that had flown into my stew when I took the last bit, in a very deep drink, and started to gag when I swallowed. The girls had to call a healer to help me with the bead, to get it up or down.. or something. I forgot all my training and panicked at its wedge in my throat. That night I gave both girls twenty five lashes with a kurt made of beaded straps. They bore welted bruises for hands. I learned to have control over my own will. They were not beaten for being stupid, they were beaten for daring to teach me a lesson. Control of my own fear over myself. It was a helpless moment. The things that crossed my mind. I never flinch, or double guess myself when I deal with others. I never pause in Battle. I get one bead in my throat, and all I can think of is a man like myself dying over something to minor. I was more worried over the scene of myself over trying to get it out.
A mistake I never would make again. If I don't care for myself, then how can I call myself a son of the Sky with her hands to see life is cared for, of my brothers and sisters? Since that day, I take my meals outside by my fires, and always look at what I eat. I don't eat stew. I don't eat anything that is coated by something else. I like to see my food. The girls know not to speak near me, while I eat, unless I approve it. Our life is better now. As is their well being.


I went took Cure out riding that afternoon. He is smaller and faster then most. Long claws give him a good grip. He is light in color, so easily seen. I like to be seen when on outer realms of Tuchuk land patrol. Its Kado I take with me at night. He is dark and by the time they see my light beast, Kado has picked up the scent and shown me them. If it be the pity of a stray traveler of the plains, or a creature. For raids and battle, I take my War Kaiila, Engorge. Pure black, with a flaw of double long fangs. One set longer then the other, but both well seen. I have bred him many times over to get another with the double fangs, but have yet to have it happen. I have put a lot of hides in payments to young kaiila clan members to find me a female kaiila with hind fangs longer then normal. Even if not seen, I want any female with the abnormality.

I had that on my mind as I saw some riders towards the track. Maybe its what I needed. I have had this start of restless since last night. It wasn't anything major, just a feeling of something. I haven't even really thought on it, just have been trying to keep busy. Riding up, I saw Tarra and a couple others. It seemed to be her children. Grown children. I let a wonder I tried not to think too much on cross and leave my mind before it fully formed. I was up for a race. Once the wagers were set, we were off. It was a moment that fueled my inner cravings. Challenge, power, and skill. I felt each surge into my system like a hot rush of paga flushing down a dry throat. Hot and demanding. I was in my element, feeling the breeze hitting my face, and the Sky above me. Every pulse of Cure's claws tearing into the ground, lifting in the air, the balance of rider and beast becoming one.

It was all good, until I fell, then down hill from there, literally. Needless to say I lost. Now where to find a fresh herlit feather and a Vulo Hen. I had one, wasn't up to giving up the one I had. I would have to get another. Find a feather, fresh. Creative things ran through my mind. I almost was out to do a double or nothing, when kaiila was coming towards us fast. Thoughts of ending my night with a walk to check on Cana, seemed to just disappear.

)(

I woke from a slumber that felt too long with a sudden jolt. Was I late for something? I looked over feeling a warmth as it was Tasha at my side. She had bruises against her flesh, even in the darkness of her skin and the wagon I could feel the heat from the stained marks I left on her. I touched her thigh and she whimpered in her slumber. I must have come home ravished in arousal. I usually come to my wagons by early morning ready to just sleep. I barely remembered coming home. Ah that was right, I walked in late from a meal shared with a friend, Jaron, a childhood friend who we shared a patrol together. His woman was young, seeing the both of us, Jaron and I, were around the same age. I think he had me by a season. He would joke, if you couldn't find a good woman, raise one. They had no children yet, freshly mated, it was his third mate. The first, well, not sure what happened to her. Rumor was, she fell in love with someone else. I never asked, she gave Jaron five strong healthy children before, she was just gone one day. The other gave him one son, then a wild kaiila ate her. So this one, I felt bad for. Luck and mates, damn. She was fun, I had to say, kept him young. She was up when we got to his wagon, feeding us and pouring our paga as the wager was, who could drink and stake the highest amount of bowls. I have no idea who won. I don't even know what we wagered. The memories were slowly returning as I forced myself out of the furs and walked out bare to the platform. I expected to see Tori waiting for me with my meal by the fires. The fires were just a glow, and nothing was cooking. I really must have kept Tasha up. That is right, Tori was at the first wagons.

It was well into the afternoon, I went to bath at the stream. I had one of the other back wagon healers, Vanessa, take care of my morning rounds that Tori usually did. Just cost me one verr, but that was good, cause I had many verr to spare. The season had brought many births to my herd. My bosk seemed very fruitful this year also. I washed myself, watching some slaves and young girls doing laundry far down the stream. Women letting children play in the water, and Warriors watering kaiila. I reached over taking a hard cake of soap and rubbing it in a rep cloth to wash. A memory came to mind, of when I was young. I was bathing in the stream, having a hard time, a battle in my own soul over what I had just done. I had been barely a man at fourteen. I had earned my scar, which I would be getting that night, as I was trying to scrub the dried dirt and blood from under my nails. My Father walked up to me, sitting on the boulder that was still there. He knew I was struggling with what I had done. I hated myself, my body again. The start of my break down, that would only be my rebirth into a Tuchuk Warrior. He asked me, what I thought of my milk name. Ongel. I said I hated it. It was a name he made me bare since I was a child first arrived to the wagons. A name of the people who created me, but not of the one that raised me. I didn't know why they called me that, or any meaning behind it. I hated it as much as my skin. When it was given to me as my earned name, I didn't get it. It was a gift then, it took many days for it to sink in, as I healed not from the scarring, or my own self inflicted wounds, but of the beating not of flesh, but of heart my Father gave me. It was a gift from him. Not to forget who I was, or what I had become. My birth was for a reason, my parents gave it to me out of love, milk names were love names. To earn a name was one of honor and pride. He loved me enough to make me bare the name I was born with. I earned my right to keep it. It was the last personal thing I had beyond hazed memories of birth home. Ongel, never leave a quiva behind. I never have, never will. By the time shook out of my thoughts Tasha was there behind me running water across my back. Where had I gone? Lost in the past. Turning I kissed her shoulder. She whispered I had hurt her last night, she loved it. Brazen slut. Just the way I wanted her. It as obvious she was enjoying Tori being gone. My attention would rest on her alone. A treat for her. I would allow her to lock it away inside as her moment. Everyone needed a moment to remember that would make everything foul disappear. I had many, it felt good to give someone else, at least one.

I met with Vanessa, and we spoke of those she went to see. She said never again, not for a handful of verr. Most of the men she went to see were sitting in wagons naked. A few were hard of seeing, and hearing and thought she was Tori. She demanded to know what kinda of sick heated sleen bitch I owned?She had never been more disgusted in her life, the men would ask her to do what she did last time to make the nasty tea go down better. I had to laugh. That just made Vanessa more angry telling me to take care of my own patients and leave after saying, I should check on Tomas. He was a young man, barely seen ten years. He was born blind, and one of the best artist I know. He would paint from sounds and feelings. His wrist have started to hurt. His bones were starting to stiffen. Blindness wasn't the only issue he was having. This was different. Something not normal. I am assuming some weak trait brought over from his mothers side that carried barbarian blood. A turian woman Freed and mated. She only admitted her dark secret when her son was born blind. Her mother had been a bred slave, exotic, born from a Barbarian slave. They wanted a short slave. Some entertainers, they were strange people when the Caravans would dare across the plains. Needless to say the bred slave didn't come out as wanted, sold off and later Freed by some foolish Dweller finding her charming. Our secrets come out in our children, a fact of life. He was small, like some cruel fate set upon him. I didn't expect him to live another hand of years. He was slowly dying, but the love his mother and father gave, was amazing. I looked him over. Gave the parents Kanda for him to chew. Make him comfortable. On the good days I have him over to paint the inside of my slave wagon. It was just the course of time taking its toll.

Leaving Tomas, I checked on Hannah and Baby Bull. Both were looking good. Hannah had great color to her cheeks. I ended my rounds with one broken arm, five sets of stitches, letting a Mother know she was having twins, helping the Father come back after he fainted amazed by his own power, and a bosk with a cracked hoof, along with a broken clawed kaiila. My day was done. Sorta.

I went to check on Cana. I was surprised to see the Ubar pacing. Not surprised to see Tori running into my arms. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I held her, tight. Forcing myself to let her go to get us drinks. We sat around Cana's fires and spoke of things I found. I wanted to make sure they, his woman was there, were prepared for anything. I thanked the woman again for the Tart's she sent over when she thanked me for the flower I sent back for the kind gesture. I spoke to him about the trip to Turia I will make when things had more solid groundings around here. I had other things I wished to talk over, but not before the woman or slaves. He said we would speak of them in the future. I did a constant reminder for all talks to be kept positive around Cana. I knew a little about her from Tori, she was of the Kaiila clan, mother of 6, on her third Master, who the Ubar told me as I had learned prior, had been gone a long time. He was once Ubar, and I could sense the tone of worry even in the current Ubar's tone. I enjoyed watching the Ubar and his woman talk to each other. I had Tori at my side as I was pleased to hear about how helpful she has been. It made me proud. It was getting late, and I needed to get back to my wagon to rest. I would be doing the morning rounds. I leaned into Tori's ear and told her I was proud of her, and I missed her, but her being here and helping would bring me pride. I saw a tear at the corner of her eye I kissed away before sending her off.

I walked home with the woman Cana on my mind. Everything we spoke of at the fires. Emotions so strong to take down the will of a person were a dangerous thing. Where are you Cana? Searching twisted moons showing a kaiila trail to your man? I hope it would show you the way back. This Spex they spoke of that would find her. I would stay positive for them also, though to see looked grave enough. Perhaps I would meet her one day, on some plains of life.

)(

I sent Tori off with a slap on the ass and a smile. I figured I better fuel her up for the battle, as I sent a simple mint tea for her to give to Tarra, and the instructions of its use to help with the low pulse and weakness of her heart. I almost felt bad for Tori, as Tarra had warned of her ways with girls, but I knew my girl would be flying high all the way there as I made sure every motion of her body would be a reminder of where my mouth and hands had been that morning. That girl had a very inflated spirit this morning. I, wasn't feeling to bad myself. I told her to not come back until she had the knowledge of how to polish a tip as good as it was looking when I found them at my wagon. So after she showed me her form of polishing, I reminded her I was talking about boots. Yes, the girl had talents, but I did like a nice cleaned boot. Tori amuses me. I would never deny I loved my slave, for I do on a level even I didn't understand. She has been with me a very long time, through thick and thin. I even tried to free her once to take her as a mate and she would have no part of it. I took her collar off and she refused to get off her knees. She simply said, she can't love me, take care of me, or give herself fully or be herself truly as a mate. She wanted her life at my hands, for when I was done with it, she would be also. To me, that was powerful. Powerful enough to never think of her again as Free. That was a very long time ago. When I took Tasha as a good from a raid, she seemed very timid at first, of our way of life, of Tori, but they learned to work together, for a common cause that would be..Me. I marveled at how much Tori loved Breanna. Simply cause, she made me happy. She had been so thrilled over hearing a child would soon fill our wagon, I think she took the deaths almost as hard as I did.

Doesn't mean I don't come home to my wagons and find my girls wearing marks from each other from some slave fight they got into prior. It amuses me. Tori was almost in tears the night before when I told her I would be looking to add another girl to my chain. I was getting busier. It was for the welfare of my time and patients. Tori felt like she had failed me by being unable to keep up with the demand of checking on people every morning. I am not beyond taking time to make my slaves feel better. They are of flesh and spirit also. They are, a part of me and my life. I told her, she was still the head girl of my wagons, and with that said, now I would lay a greater responsibility on her, one to train this girl into doing what I expect. I wouldn't be offering the girl the chance to take over anything. Tori would have to do her chores, her rounds and teach. Tasha would teach her the ways of my wagons, but Tori would have to teach her the ways of my patients. With that, both girls seemed to like the thought of a new girl they could boss around. I would leave them with that. I knew I wouldn't find one soon, I was picky and I needed a girl with some healing background. Perhaps a trip to Turia was in order.

Tasha brought me my meal, which I told her to package to go, as I would be going to spend some time at the first wagons this afternoon. I let Tasha also know, when Tori returned to have her find me at the fist wagons. I had promised to check in on the woman Cana. I had various oils, and items I would need. It wasn't a long walk, and I got there introducing myself to the Warrior at the wagon. Explaining my reason for being there, and the suggestion of the Ubar for the look over. The wagon had been kept very clean, which was important. The woman was laying there, with a peaceful look on her face. She didn't look very old, but from the brief history, she had six children, birthed healthy, but had been under some stress over a missing mate. It was stated as simply, she had been sad and worried. That in my eyes equal stress. That is the worse killers of women. The true definition of loving someone with their last breath. I hope this wasn't the case. One of the pains of being a tool. I would check all her reflexes with a tap on joints and nerves, then paused, asking the Warrior if it would make him to uncomfortable for me look over her skin for sores or bruising. He told me to continue but I noted he didn't watch, but clearly was listening. For his sake instead of taking mental notes in my head I would talk out loud as I looked her over, stating the skin was dry, clear, and healthy. I could tell some of my suggestions were making him uncomfortable. They needed to be said so everyone who was caring for her would have the knowledge. I suggested he find someone to make a very light linen sheet for her. It would be easier to keep her covered and nude then bind her flesh with clothing. Make sure her hands stay at her side and not across her chest, for simple natural sweating would cause irritation in the inner creases of elbows and under arms, not to mention muscles might lock up in that position if kept there over a couple ahn's. Keep the muscle tone up with moving her arms, legs, fingers, toes, head and body twice a day. Full rotations, not forgetting any joints, from ankles, to kneels, wrist, everything, even her jaw. Keep her elevated so pressure wasn't on her chest, and lungs could move freely and keep liquid from settling in her lungs. Keep adsorbent cloths under her. She has to be kept very clean, soiling will bring rashes and infections. The main things were, to keep calories and water in her. It would be slow and painstakingly slow, but had to be done. She had a good swallow reflex, and her throat and nose seemed clear. First sign of a cold or drainage I warned to find a healer quick. Keep her skin hydrated also. Small cracks of drying will be an invite for irritations that could get infected. I left the oil, explaining it would absorb quickly and keep the skin moisturized. I left some pure mineral oil. This would be a few drops in her eyes a day to keep those from also drying out.

Next we spoke of food. I gave many suggestions, and when he was looking overwhelmed in his eyes over all this, I let him know, until Cana woke, I would have my girl Tori here to help with everything, and teach the girls how to prepare the foods. She would know how to move the muscles, and work the limbs when it was only Him on watch. That way, he wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable about violating any privacy. I think that made him feel better, though words would state, she was like a daughter, he had no fear on making sure she was safe in any form. But he looked relieved nonetheless. I told him it would be about adding calories to liquids. Don't try anything solid in any form until she could communicate by herself and was able to be kept in an upright position. I suggested vulo eggs cooked with fat, oil and broth. It would be very soupy and able to be swallowed down freely. Sugar water, thinned creams and custards. Milk and juice were a good natural form of fat and calories. If her skin starts to yellow in any hue, we might have to cut open a flap at the top of the wagon to get her some natural light.

All and all, I did let him know I was proud of the great job everyone had been doing. She looked good, and I just was suggesting things on top of what has already been done. I did save worse for last. There is a chance, no matter how much care she is given, if she stops breathing, its cause the Sky has deemed it was time. There was a strong chance of that, no matter how many healers are at her side. If he starts to notice she can no longer swallow good, or starts choking when fed, don't force it. We will get her something to make sure she is not in pain, and sometimes these moments were a gift from the Sky, she was giving us time, to say our Be Well's.

But right now, there was hope. I patted his shoulder as I walked out, I saw Tori arrive, she knew what to do without being said. I told her I would be back for a report on how things were going. I needed to go let the Ubar know of my findings.

)(

I finally sat down and spoke with the Ubar, but not in a context one would assume. I had joined a gathering at the stream. I enjoy the company I have found there as of late. Its a very nice way to end the day, or rest of the mind for me. Taking the overnight patrols have left it hard for me to sleep peacefully in the night time hours. Which works out cause children have this biological timer that only allows them to be deathly (As their Mothers state) ill during the normal sleeping hours for most. Not sure why I find I enjoy the late night visits that might rouse me from a slumber or other fur laden activities. Maybe its the raw emotions of the Mothers eased over smoothly like sweet butter on warm bread when the 'Dying' child smiles or giggles when I give a little poke at their plump stomachs. Its usually something so simple like a smile and laugh that makes the harsh strike of lightening of emotions seem to clear up instantly like the sudden stop of rain. It could also be some Sky complex of mine, thinking I cured the pains of worry while looking for the cause of simple ailments. Most of the time its just the watering of sinuses from a forgotten lodged bug in the nose or ear, or one too many bosk strips trying to see who could eat more in a late night contest. Those things, though the Mothers will apologize for such urgency over something so minor, its I, that want to thank the Sky and them for ease of my own tension. The hardest lesson I ever had to learn was, I can't save everyone. Its truly not in my hands. I am a tool of the Sky. A stone upon someone else's path. I am okay with this. I think that is why I was very comfortable talking with the Ubar over, emotions of life. I could tell much was heavy on his mind. Our talk was light hearted and yet made up of twisted twines of natural feelings of what life has given us. He asked me many questions on the body and mind. Really both are to different things. Even when the mind is gone, the flesh needs care. We spoke of this as it seems someone very dear to him was ill. I promised to make a trip to see her. He was worried. Worry and I, best friends. I only hoped I eased some of those feelings, and I think the talk between him and Tarra at that point helped. I had the honor of meeting a few new faces of the Ubar's fires. I think it was a very nice surrounding the Ubar had. A Singer, An Artist, A Spex, A Leather worker, and back wagon Healer. Sounds like the start of a bad joke, but one that makes everyone laugh. I had noticed the small children. The woman had a babe at her arms as a little girl didn't see very interested in much of what we taller versions of her were talking about. I love the honesty of a child's nature. We are boring to the open colorful seeking minds of a child sometimes. Slowly the gathering started to disperse. One by one each person started to retire for the evening. I found myself sitting and speaking with Tarra. I have found she enjoys conversation. This pleases me. So many forget, to just relax and savor the moments in life. I told her I would send Tori over to learn how to shine my boots as nice as she did it. I also had to point out some concern over her clumsiness. I think that was a statement of amusement for both of us. I would make sure Tori would take over some tea for her weak heart also. Women growing faint over me, I have to say, does wonders for my ego. Grin. One thing we spoke of, that stayed in my mind after I walked her towards Cana's wagons was, the soft parts of a person. The gentle of emotions so many tired to hide. Its needed from time to time, isn't the body just a shield for the true of our spirits? Yes. Was Cana's body just protecting her right now? It made sense. I would make sure to bring good ointments and oils for her skin. All shields must be kept in good shape and respected. Flesh and bone, I thank the Sky for both.